Make the first move
Tuesday 15 August 2006
If there's somebody you've got your eye on, it can be tricky making the first move.
You might not be sure if they're interested in you and even if they are, it's possible that neither of you can pluck up the courage to make the first move.
Feel the same
If there's someone you fancy and you'd like to ask out, the first thing you need to work out is if they feel the same way. Going up to them and asking them direct probably isn't a good idea.
If they're not interested and you thought they were, then it might be painful for you, but also if they are interested and are too shy to admit it, they still might say no, meaning you're none the wiser.
Friendly advice
The first step to working out if someone is interested in you could be to speak to friends, both yours and theirs. Ask your mates what they think of your crush and whether they reckon there's any chemistry there.
Talk to their mates too: drop subtle hints that you might be interested and see what their reaction is. If it's a look of total horror, you might want to hold off on wedding plans, but if their friends react more positively, you still might be in with a chance.
First reaction
Your next step could be to spend some time in their company and see how they react around you.
Do they make an effort to talk to you, even in a large group of mates? Do you find that they laugh a lot at jokes you make? Do they seem particularly interested in what you're saying and do they hold eyen contact? Do they stand close to you?
Although a 'yes' to any of those questions doesn't automatically mean that they fancy you, it's usually a good indicator of how they feel about you.
Asking them out
When you decide to make your move, have a think about what you're going to say. Blurting out "I think you're hot, do you want to go out with me?" might be coming on a little strong, so try a more subtle approach.
Suggest that you catch a film some time, or invite them round to your house to do homework or watch TV. If they make excuses about not being able to make it, or ask if they can bring other mates, it might not mean that you're getting the brush off; they just might be shy.
Don't be put off if you get turned down once; try and get to know them a bit better and things might just happen naturally. Don't push it if it's clear that they're really not into you, though.
Early days
Once you get a 'yes', take things slowly and get to know each other better. Throwing yourself straight into a serious relationship means that you miss out on all the fun, getting to know each other stuff at the beginning.
Make sure you still hang out with your mates when you're a couple; spending too much time alone together might mean you soon get sick of the sight of each other!
