Getting on with your sibling
Tuesday 8 January 2008
If you've got siblings, you’ll probably agree that, at times, nobody can wind you up like they can. Your older siblings might try to boss you around and tell you what to do. Your younger brothers or sisters may borrow your things or want to be around you all the time. So how do you deal with it?
Little terror
Usually when a younger child is acting up it means they are trying to get your attention for a while. Try and spend a little more time with them and you might find that they're not as irritating as you first thought.
If there's something of yours that your younger brother or sister is fascinated with, like a mobile phone, a watch or game, why not let them mess around with it for a bit? If you supervise them, you can then have some bonding time and also make sure they don't break anything!
Always arguing
If you and your sibling fight like cat and dog, take a moment to think about the stuff you argue about and try and cut it out of your life. If you are going to argue though try to pick your battles. Is something really worth arguing about? Some issues may be more important than others and they will take you more seriously if you only argue occasionally rather than all the time!
Space
Loads of arguments are caused by siblings invading each other’s space, so to avoid this, set up your own personal space and be really clear of the boundaries.
Even if you share a bedroom, make a little space somewhere that is all yours. Tell your brother or sister that they need to knock before coming into your bedroom or your special area of a shared bedroom. It also works the other way around. Make sure you respect their space too. Otherwise don’t expect them to respect yours.
Mine or yours
If your sibling doesn’t like you borrowing their stuff then don’t push it! If they say no, don't push the issue and try and nag them into changing their mind; it probably won't work so will be a waste of energy. Instead offer to lend them something of yours but don’t expect the favour to be returned for a while.
Stay out of it
If you genuinely don't get on and can't seem to spend any time in the same room without an argument kicking off, remove yourself from the situation as much as you can. At mealtimes try and be as polite as you can and give them no reason to start. If they're the argumentative type, they're probably dying to get a reaction out of you. Don't give them the satisfaction - take the higher ground!
Something in common
You might find that the older you get, the more you get on. One way is to try and find a common ground. Is there anything you're both interested in that you can do together that might keep you from arguing?
Why not try and spend a quality day together doing something you both like and then spend the rest of your free time with your mates? You might find that spending time together and doing something positive will have a good effect on your relationship.
What's up?
Maybe you're the one causing the problem. What is it that makes you want to get at your sibling all the time? Are you jealous? Do you wish you had more of the attention? Maybe they get away with stuff that you'd be punished for. Why not talk to them about the way you feel? Once you talk things out, you might find that they don't have it so easy after all. Few things are ever what they seem.
Talking to your parents about what is bothering you might help but make sure you it doesn’t come across as ‘telling on’ on your brother or sis or it might make the situation even worse! Just ask for advice and then deal with it yourself.
