Being in love and in a relationship is great, but not all partnerships go the distance. It might be that what started out as fun doesn’t feel the same way as it did before.
Take a look at our six steps to ending a relationship as painlessly as possible.
1. Find out how they’re feeling
Before you ‘end it all’, you should try and work out how your other half feels about things.
It might be that your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t notice that there’s anything wrong, so you’ll have to make sure that you don’t hurt their feelings. To them, it could be that nothing has changed and they’re still as into you as you were them.
2. Be open and honest
Talk to them in a fairly open way without just diving in and dumping them straight away. You should be able to get a good idea about how they feel in general and about the relationship from their mood.
If they seem downbeat but aren’t really saying what the problem is, try and get to the bottom of it before you say that it’s all over. Don’t forget that conversations are a two-way thing: it’s important that you say how you really feel.
3. If you’re sure, stick to it
If it seems as if your partner has no idea that you’re not happy, it can be tempting to let things continue as they were. If you’re sure that you want to break up, though, you should tell your boyfriend or girlfriend.
4. Keep calm
Do the breaking up in a calm situation if you can: don’t do it during or after an argument and don’t do it in a public place or in front of mates. Don’t go somewhere totally secluded, though; make sure other people aren’t too far away.
It can be an upsetting time, but try not to hurl insults or get too personal at this stage.
5. Get ready for a reaction
Being dumped isn’t a nice feeling and people react in different ways. Some may be very upset and some might get angry. Even though you have ended the relationship, you needn’t feel as if you have to accept abusive or violent behaviour.
If things are getting nasty, walk away. It might be a good idea to have a mate nearby on standby if you’re worried about a partner’s reaction.
6. Look ahead to the future
Your first priority is you. If you’ve ended the relationship as kindly and fairly as you can, you should try not to feel too guilty.
Even though you did the dumping, you’ll still feel sad for a period. You might wonder if you’ve done the right thing or find yourself thinking about your ex.
Think very carefully before meeting up or making steps to get back together: there’s a reason you split up in the first place and unless that can be sorted out, reuniting might not be the best idea.