Long distance love
Thursday 2 November 2006
If you've just started university, are thinking of applying or are simply moving out of your local area and are in a relationship, you may be wondering whether you should stay together or split up.
Could you handle a long distance relationship? Do they work? Are you better off calling it a day?
It can be hard leaving someone you care about behind when you move away, but you mustn't let it stand in the way of your future. If you have the chance to improve your life be moving away, then you should do it.
Staying together
A few years ago, moving 100 miles away from the one you love would have meant that the relationship couldn't survive. These days, however, there are plenty of techie aids to help you keep the love alive.
Call me
Some mobile phone companies do special deals which mean you can nominate a number you call often to receive calls for free or at a reduced rate.
Get the message
Email and instant messenger are an even cheaper way of staying in touch. Many universities offer students free email services, but if you're not at uni, there are plenty of internet cafes around which give you cheap access to web-based email or instant messenger.
Love letters
If you're feeling romantic, you could always keep in touch the old-fashioned way and send a letter.
Be realistic
Moving away can bring with it a lot of stress and you might have other things on your mind than staying in constant contact with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
If you think that you're going to be tied up for the first few days or weeks, then tell your other half so that they're not expecting you to be in touch.
Stay true
You should prepare yourself for the fact that you might come into contact with people who you might fancy. If you've agreed to stay true to each other then you should try and keep your promise.
If your feelings get stronger for another person, you owe it your other half to come clean.
Left behind
If you're the one who's been left behind in your hometown, try not to mope too much and make sure you see plenty of friends. Stay in touch with your partner, but don't bug them too much: give them time and space to get used to their new surroundings.
You might hear them talking about new people they've met and this might make you jealous. This is a natural emotion, but try and put yourself in their shoes: would you rather they stayed at home night after night with no friends? If the answer to that is yes, then maybe you need to be less selfish.
Do they work?
Long distance relationships can only truly work if:
- the people involved trust each other
- jealousy is kept to a minimum
- you are honest with each other
- you make time to visit each other
Calling it quits
After some time apart, it might become clear that it's not working. Sometimes the best thing to do is to set each other free. For more help and advice on splitting up, take a look at our related articles sidebar and the rest of the Breaking Up section.
