My brother was shot
Friday 30 June 2006
Although there are people out there who commit crime and take part in anti-social behaviour, the nearest most of us will get to a serious crime is by watching it on TV.
n2k reader Ayesha, 18, tells us what happened when violent crime stopped being a distant possibility and became a reality when her brother was shot.
Looking out for me
My brother Carl was a really cool guy when I was growing up. Because he was eight years older than me he always really looked after me and stuck up for me.
We weren't in each other's pockets all the time or anything but we were close. I know he used to look out for me.
Family rows
Mum and dad used to get on at him all the time and at the time I just thought they were getting at him for no reason. I didn't understand what was going on.
It was only much later I found out that Carl was involved in a group of people who were taking drugs on the estate where we lived.
I heard that he'd started hanging around with them when things weren't going well for him at school.
Baby on the way
As time went on, the arguments between Carl and my mum and dad got bigger and bigger and eventually Carl stopped sleeping at home as much and sort of moved in with this girl.
They had a baby together but then things didn't work out so Carl was back at ours and the rows went on
Knock at the door
I remember the night we got the knock at the door like it was yesterday. There was a loud banging at the door at about four in the morning and at first I thought it was one of Carl's mates because they used to come at all times of the night.
I looked out of the window and saw it was the police: a man and a woman both wearing uniform. Although Carl seemed to be having problems, he'd never brought the police to my mum's door before.
Shot
I waited upstairs while the police talked to mum and dad. When mum started screaming I knew it was bad and so I went downstairs.
Carl had been shot dead at a party by a guy he didn't get on with. It was like a bad dream; I don't really remember much else about that night.
The aftermath
As days went by, it just seemed even more weird. Mum wanted to see where Carl had been shot so we went to the place where it happened. People had already started laying flowers in front of the house.
I couldn't speak. I just wanted my brother back.
I felt sorry for his girlfriend and baby; they had needed him to be around for them and he wasn't going to be any more.
Mum just wouldn't stop crying and screaming. I thought the world was about to end.
It's not too late
Since Carl was shot two years ago, I've managed to help turn things around. I've talked in our school to other people about the dangers of guns and getting involved in drugs. It has helped me to understand what has happened a bit more.
It's too late for Carl but it's not too late for other people out there. Getting involved in drugs and guns has ruined my family's life and I wouldn't want anybody else to go through what we have.
I don't think I'll ever get over losing Carl but I know that he would have wanted me to do what I'm doing. It can't be ignored.
Your story
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