Anger management
Tuesday 10 July 2007
Anger is a very human emotion which normally passes quickly. However if you find yourself constantly flying off the handle for no reason at all, then it might be time to think about a bit of anger management.
What is anger?
Anger is a mixture of both emotional and physical changes. When you get cross a big surge of energy goes through your body as chemicals, such as adrenaline, are released, and your heart rate and blood pressure go up. This causes the reasoning part of your brain to shut off for a short while. In worst cases this can mean that you often react blindly to situations.
Out of control
There are a few tell tale signs that will help you tell whether your anger is out of control or not.
- You are angry constantly even about the smallest things
- You act aggressively such as shouting, hitting or plotting revenge
- You are angry for a long time even after the event has passed
- Things that didn’t use to bother you are suddenly a major issue
- You act in a self destructive way that is not healthy or safe for you
Getting control
If you’ve nodded at some or all of the points above then it might be time to think about managing your anger. Surprisingly enough this is actually quite easy!
Anger management isn’t about getting rid of your anger completely, but more like being able to control the way you react when you are angry.
Healthy expression
There are three main ways you can manage your anger:-
- By expressing your anger in an assertive but not aggressive manner, you are expressing yourself in the healthiest way.
- If you suppress your anger and forget about it, you can redirect those feelings and focus them onto something positive instead.
- By consciously calming yourself inside, you’ll find that outwardly you become much calmer too.
It all sounds good but in practice what can you do to make you feel less angry?
Have a word
Next time you get mad, take a deep breath and ask yourself if that’s a real reason to get so mad? Somebody “disrespecting” you, getting in your way, slowing you down, being luckier than you, or doing something better than you do it, are not reasonable causes of anger.
It’s also important to know what triggers your anger and avoid those triggers. Find a time when you’re not angry, try to work out why those triggers bother you, then and take steps to getting rid of them.
Practical tips
Next time you feel that familiar wave of rage try these practical tips:-
- Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; it has to come from deep in your gut not just your chest to really work.
- Whilst you’re breathing deeply, repeat a calm word or phrase slowly to yourself such as "relax,” or "keep calm".
- Use your imagination or memories to think about something that relaxes you, like listening to music or chilling in the park.
- Exercising, especially doing gentle exercise can also help make you feel much calmer.
- Stop, take a few minutes to allow the chemicals in your body to stabilize again. Then talk about it!
Support
As teenager emotions can sometimes really run high and with any luck you will find yourself calming down as you get a little older. However if you feel like your anger is getting the better of you then don’t panic, there are many organizations that are there to help you. Check out some of the links on this page.
