No more self-harm
Monday 7 June 2004
By Kate, 15, London
After weeks of furious revising and studying for GCSE English, I should shake with fear at the very mention of poetry.
After two years of studying the GCSE Anthology, I am still addicted to writing and reading poetry. Some people call me crazy when I tell them my secret hobby. Others say I need to get a life (which is why I don't tell many people).
But to me, poetry is a short break from the hectic and nearly always stressful life of a teenage girl.
Just like any other teen, I have my fair share of problems and worries. Divorce, bereavement and relationship problems are only a few of the situations that stress me and other teenagers out.
Everyone has his or her own way of coping with life: some good, some bad.
A few years ago I used to calm myself down by cutting the tops of my arms with a compass or knife.
This was my escape route for a long time as I felt as though no one would understand the way I felt or want to hear me talk about it.
One evening I was on the internet and I came across a poetry site completely by accident.
I had never really read poetry before and was curious. I logged on to the message boards and began reading some of the poetry that people had been posting.
I was expecting the board to be dominated by old men writing poetry in a language I wouldn't be able to understand, but to my amazement I found the absolute opposite.
Most of the poems were written by teenagers just like me, and were about the problems they were facing and the emotions they were feeling.
I read a few and before long I was hooked. I found I could relate to many of the poems that had been written and felt a sudden relief that there were other people out there who felt exactly the same as me.
After reading lots of poems I decided to have a go myself. I wanted to try to put my emotions into words like the other poets on the message boards and began by trying to come up with words to describe my feelings.
Before long I was writing about all aspects of my life and sending my work to be read by hundreds of other teens.
To my surprise I received lots of emails congratulating and encouraging me. People told me they understood how I felt and gave me advice on how to cope. It was almost like counselling and I no longer felt alone.
I soon lost the urge to cut myself and turned to poetry as a release, I found it satisfying to tell the world what was going on in my head and comforting to know that people out there cared.
Since then I have been addicted to poetry, I love reading about people's lives and trying to understand how they must have felt when they wrote each poem. With every word you understand the poet a tiny bit more.
I don't see poetry as a chore like a lot of people I know, I see it as something that has made me more open and honest with myself and has stopped me locking all my emotions up inside and turning to self harm to ease my mind.
That is why when my English teacher announces we'll be studying poetry again, through the groans and moans, you will always find me with a huge grin across my face.
